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How to Handle Failure – A Personal Breakthrough

If jumbo size boxes of tissue have been your only worthwhile investment, it is time to change route.

Begin by putting the tear soaked tissues down.  In fact, get out bed and throw them away.  Being disappointed is a part of life, surrendering to the idea of failure is death by thought.

Lucky for us it is not too late, we can still change the way we think.  Success comes to the people who eliminate the word failure from their vocabulary and replace it with feedback. Swapping these powerful words changes our action.

It may take some time, but it is a necessary component of our cognitive progress.  Thinking of unaccomplished goals as failure only leads to more unaccomplished goals.  If however, said results are viewed as feedback, you are no longer a victim of circumstance but an active participant in your journey.

Feedback, no matter how soft, no matter how harsh, should be looked at as constructive criticism.

This is one of the primary presuppositions of NLP. Negative feedback and failure should be a source of inspiration, a map for improvement, and an update of your progress. Not only is the mindset of feedback better for your all around well-being, it is essential for those who desire to be, create, or do something that is worth anything.  Feedback is often worth much more than a gold star.

As an actor I am constantly subjected to feedback.  It is part of my attraction to the craft, as I feel there is no glass ceiling in art.  There is always room to work harder, learn more, and be better.  My formal training was completed under a Russian woman who grew up in the Soviet Union.  Needless to say, a pat on the butt and congratulatory hugs were not part of the curriculum.  It was not class unless someone left crying or questioning their existence.

One day, after I finished a scene, she said to me, “You look like a deflated balloon!”

“I feel like a deflated balloon!” I answered.

“Well DON’T!  She screamed.  You are so lucky I care.”

For some reason, those words resonated with me, and from that point on, I became grateful for my time with her.  I began to see all of her feedback, no matter how harsh, as an investment in my talent. Her invaluable notes became crystal clear; I would have missed important details had I been clouded with fear and failure.

By thinking of her words as feedback, I was able to tremendously improve my craft and create more opportunities. Those who have mastered the notion of replacing failure with feedback are one giant leap closer to their goals.

Replace the word failure with feedback, and begin your better life today.

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