This article is likely to provoke the following defenses:
Anger, disbelief, mirth, shame, confusion, blame, fear, intellectual scorn, emotional paralysis, self-criticism, other criticism, a numb feeling and other means of avoiding the truth.
Read on with caution, and realize we’re all in the same boat.
Some of us remember the book by Nathaniel Branden, If you Could Hear what I Cannot Say (out of print). Like much of Branden’s work, the book suggests we unconsciously seek goals – often negative goals – while pretending something entirely different is going on.
Maybe now is the time to wake up, listen, and learn.
Only by acknowledging the truth can we free ourselves.
Understanding how the unconscious mind works takes guts. Here’s why: To really see what is going on in your life and with your behavior, you need to be willing to look past the persona of your public self and see the truth.
This should begin with the realization that you do not always seek out what is best for yourself or other people. In fact, you may unknowingly be attracted to negative things.
Unfortunately, most people who read this article, based on some comments received, are unable to see any truth in the following. I would hope that anyone willing to make improvements in their life would first be able to see their root behaviors. The list below is not meant to demean anyone, I think all of us, if we truly want to see ourselves clearly, can find at least one behavior that resonates.
Enjoy the following straight talk from a typical unconscious mind:
I don’t like chronic emotional suffering, but I like the excuses it gives me.
I exaggerate my troubles so that they seem impossible to solve Then, I do not have to make the effort.
I cherish the mess I have made of my life. That’s the sweetest revenge against my parents.
I am bored and purposeless, so I create drama to amuse myself.
I use my husband for financial support, even though I can’t stand him.
I grew up with shame and now shame myself. I do a lot to give myself reason to be disappointed.
That empty, hollow feeling inside is what I call “home.” I seek fulfillment in things that do not fulfill (food, TV, alcohol, drugs, empty relationships, star chasing, etc…) to keep the emptiness alive. I don’t know who I’d be without it.
I refuse to take care of myself so that others will have to take care of me.
I am out of control so that others will monitor me, even though I resent them for it.
I act annoyingly and find strange satisfaction in the negative attention I get.
I don’t know who I would be without this feeling of worthlessness, so I keep doing things to make myself feel worthless.
I keep myself overwhelmed and busy to avoid my miserable marriage.
I use my wife for sex and meals even though I don’t really care about her.
No matter what I do, I find a way to criticize myself as a way to keep the family tradition alive.
I have always been lonely, and I push people away to keep what I have always had.
Oops, failed again! That will teach them not to count on me. I like to be treated like an irresponsible child.
The greatest obstacle to change is failing to see the problem. Most of us think we have one set of problems (not enough money, not enough will power, bad luck, poor decision-making skills, etc…) when in reality we have a totally different set.
It’s like we are stabbing ourselves in the leg, but the only problem we can see is that our leg is bleeding. Once we see the knife in our hand, a whole new reality sets in – and a whole new array of choices becomes available. Now we can say, “I don’t want to stab myself and now can put the knife down.”
So, if you gave your unconscious mind a chance to speak the truth right now, what would it say?
What do you think?
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